Why the hell do I keep watching these movies… They just make me cry because of the happiness and then cry because of the lonliness within… I try to ignore the part of me that wants to find someone… It’s beginning to get the best of me everyday. I want someone to cuddle with, and it better be soon. Uuuggggggggghhhhhhh.
Soo. This must leave you wondering how the movie was. It was a very good movie. It, however, makes me sad that some people deny who they are. A man does it and ends up with a woman, though he wanted to be with the main character and has for 20 years. Oh well, I guess he’ll just have to deal with it. He’ll die wondering what it would have been like, and have to face the fact that he lived a lie and wasn’t truely happy.
It pains me to think about it. I understand some people have family issues, but there is NO reason for you to have to deny who you are. I won’t go on to rant about right-winged fuckers and religious bullshit that prevents this. Now I’m all fired up. I need to get off this soap box, because it might break or someone might kill me.
Soo. I’m trying to go to bed… It’s not going too well at the moment. I worked all day and then went over to Eric’s for some much needed fun! I haven’t seen that bitch in foreva! I hope to hang with everyone again. It’s good meeting new people and finally talking to people you’ve known, but not truely met. I’m currently watching “Big Eden” and hope that it isn’t a waste of time. Hopefully I won’t fall asleep before it gets over. I don’t like leaving my 360 on all night. Anyway… I’m going to get back to my movie.
Today was the worst day I’ve had in quite a while. First of all, I woke up at 7:40am and was wide awake. So I watched some TV and texted people that I knew would be up. I finally fell back asleep and woke up before my alarm went off so I gave up and got up for the day. Interning started off normally. Steph and I supervised the gym until she went to her Spanish class. I went down to the director’s office to help with paperwork like I was told to do. When I got to his office he began scolding me for coming down and leaving one volunteer upstairs…even though there were 2 other interns up there. Now, if you know me then you know I can’t handle being yelled at or scolded, it makes me cry because I was yelled at quite often when I was younger. I held myself together though. The other intern got there and was bitched at for not coming yesterday…and the reason he didn’t come was because he had family members injured in a shooting, but the director didn’t seem to give a fuck. The 2 of us went down to the director’s office to do paperwork since some other volunteers showed up but then after sitting in there for 15 minutes he told us he wanted Stephanie to do it-I found out later that the paperwork he made her do was just filling in bubbles like on a scantron sheet. Apparently Phil and I aren’t qualified to do such important work. I left shortly after that because not only had I been scolded but I was slightly offended that he didn’t want me to do paperwork.
So after all that shit I got to work and the dryer had broken so we had almost no towels to clean beds with. It was 85* in the building and I was in a pisser anyway. I tanned thinking that would help and it made my mood worse. Then I realized after tanning that I would clock in late but to my surprise I was already clocked in because I didn’t clock out Tuesday night. That’s the 2nd time in a week I’ve forgotten to clock out. Thankfully my boss was understanding because when she came in to talk to me and do payroll I almost started crying and I think she felt bad for me, and slightly awkward since I was near tears. Then about an hour before closing I rounded a corner too fast and thought the door was open and I smacked my face into a door and bloodied my nose.
I called and made Tracy listen to my bitching because I thought I was going to flip the fuck out. She succeeded in cheering me up because I made a joke and she acted like she understood then admitted 20 minutes later that she just figured it out. Stephanie called me when I got off to make sure I hadn’t killed anyone after leaing Ryves. She’s definitely one of a kind and has a heart of gold. I knew she was busy doing her many hours of homework but she was kind enough to give me 45 minutes to bitch and gave me advice on boys and how the ones from my past are definitely not worth my time.
Blah. Ok. This rant blog is over.
P.S. I find it interesting that it took so long for me to find good, trustworthy friends in middle school and high school but in less than 1 year of college I’ve made 2 awesome friends thatI feel will be in my life for a very long time, if not forever. I heart RKL and SAG!
That is some fucking bullshit. He should really be thankful for the wonderful people he has volunteering. There is no reason why you, or any of the others should be yelled at. Just remember to keep happy thoughts, lol. I’m not quite sure if that’s possible, but try at least. Maybe you should imagine bubbles coming out of his mouth the next time he yells or something. Maybe even just tone him out? He sounds like a fucker fuck face anyway. I miss you soooooooo much. I hope you have time to come to Curt’s Sat. I’ll make sure to bring that book and the other battery I have. I’m soo glad we are friends! I don’t know what I would do without you!
I have to make sure no one is around when I check you at work… lol It probably won’t be so bad if I didn’t follow a million tumblogs that post half, or sometimes completely naked men on them. I really don’t mind looking at them, it’s just an awkward work situation.. lol
Anyway, today is going to suck. I’m at work now and then going to my second job at Wal-Mart from 3-11pm. Woot!
I’ll get back at my apartment about a quarter after 11, do the dishes, and then go to bed so I can be at work at 8am and then get to my apt. at about a quarter ‘til 11 tomorrow night.
Soo… I’ve been doing an extremely ridiculous amount of thinking over the past week or so. I’ve decided that I want to find a full time job and go to school part time until I get my degree. I’m tired of wasting a shit ton of money and not getting anywhere. It’s either that or try and get into a program at Ivy to get my associates in Networking… I just need to figure it out. I’m so burnt out when it comes to school. I’m tired of it and I want to be done. I can’t focus on it, no matter how hard I try. I just want a steady job doing what I love. Is that too much to ask for? I keep thinking of “Home is Where Your Heart Is” by The Sounds… I might have to go coast to coast and from star to star to find out who I am. I know, that is something completely retarded. I can’t help but think that it would be the best thing. I wish I would have actually thought about this two years ago.